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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Do you like piña coladas...?

Lately I haven't been sleeping so well. With the fibro I really should stick to a regular sleep schedule, which for me would mean asleep by 11 or 12 and up around 8 or 9am. Having no pressing morning routines allows me to be lazy sleep longer. But lately, even though I've taken my Rx and may be bonkers with fatigue I just can't fall asleep. My mind is either racing or I'm in too much pain and can't get comfortable. I feel like I did 15 years ago when I first started dealing with the fibro. It's completely ridiculous and I would like it to stop. Isn't there some magic wand to be waved or button I can push? You know, like on Facebook, there's a button for goddamn everything.

I started graduate school last night which is very exciting and scary and crazy-making all at once. But the thing I felt most by the time classes were over, was PAIN. We had to sit in those fucking horrendous one piece desk/chair things, which I'm lucky I can fit into at all, because I am like 100 pounds overweight. (WHAT?? Shhhh, don't tell anyone, I carry it REALLY well.) Anyway, these stupid desk/chair things are some of the most uncomfortable furniture ever designed. I would have been better off sitting on a pillow on the floor. Seriously. By the end of the night I could barely hobble to the car - thank gods I didn't have to drive since I carpooled with a friend! I probably would've had some crazy spasm and ended up crashing my car into the campus police station. Next week I'm going to try to steal borrow a comfy chair on wheels from the computer lab next door. If that doesn't work I will be forced to erect a hammock in the classroom (thanks to Kelli for that amazing idea) and make the professors wear Hawaiian shirts and play the bongos while I get comfy in the hammock and make piña coladas for everyone. Hellz yeah. Social work, shmocial work. Never mind the pain issue, if everyone had a hammock and a piña colada the world would be a far better place and we wouldn't even need social workers. And then I'd be out of a job. Fuck. Ok, so maybe that's not a good idea. Whatever. I still need a comfier place to sit. Maybe I can borrow my mom's wheelchair. We're a sharing family, that's how we roll.... ha! Roll... get it? Yeah, ok, sorry. But she's probably not going to need it for a while so it's up for grabs....

And that brings us to one of the big stressy things I mentioned a while ago.... (Great segue, Jo! I astound myself, really.) My mother may be having spinal surgery soon. This will be her 4th spinal surgery. It seems that, in addition to all the other weird and rare disorders my mother has, she has now developed cysts inside her spinal cord. (WTF???) This is NOT good news, in case you couldn't figure that one out. It's causing all kinds of problems for her and it seems to be getting worse. From all the reading I've been doing, at the level her syrinx (that's what the cysts are called) begins, it starts to become a life-threatening if not permanently damaging situation. Through all of the spinal problems she's had she has managed to keep her legs functioning enough to only need the wheelchair part of the time. The rest of the time she uses crutches. But this syrinx thing could take away her legs for good. And possibly fuck up her heart and lungs - which I'm pretty sure you need to live, so that's not a good thing at all. I'm writing about this here cuz I am pretty scared for her and I need to keep my sense of humor or I'll go batshit crazy.

So that's that. Grad school, fibro flare & pain, family medical crisis.... Sleep? Oh yeah, I'm sure that'll come soon.... in a few years or so.... now where's that piña colada?

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