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Monday, September 19, 2011

I should be doing homework...

But I thought it would be more fun to catch up on some blogging, both reading and writing. So, hey, did you know I am super awesome? I am. I have amazing powers of agility and grace... which totally failed me this weekend when I was taking a shower. My neck/shoulders were really hurting from all this studying (I kinda looked like Quasimodo hunched over social work textbooks) so I decided to take a hot shower. half way through the shower I decide to turn it into a bath, so I flip the little pluggy thing, and sit down, but still have the hot water spraying from the shower head as to massage my neck while waiting for the tub to fill. This is a common way to bathe in our household. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that. Was that TMI? I'm sorry. Anyway, moving along...

So the tub finally fills with enough water to lie down in, so I lie down, first with my feet at the faucet end, like normal people do. But then I felt like I wasn't getting enough warmth on my neck and shoulders so I turned around, head at the faucet end, and switched the water to the faucet instead of the showerhead, so the hot water would stream right onto my neck and shoulders. Brilliant, right? Yeah, not so much. Trying to position myself to actually have that happen was a bit like trying out for Cirque du Soleil. Here I am trying to fold myself like an origami project around the faucet and then BAM! My gigantic head and the faucet kissed. An angry, violent kiss. A kiss that left a huge gash/knot/welt/alien growing out of the side of my forehead. Ok, not really, but GODDAMMIT THAT HURT. I at least had the presence of mind to shut off the water and unplug the drain before I passed out. That's one way I do not want to die, thank you very much. I don't care if it's an accident but I'd like to be fully clothed when the people come to find me. (I suppose the dead me really wouldn't care, but the living me does and that's the one in charge so, she wins.) Since you're reading this you obviously came to the conclusion that I did not die, so yay, go me. I also managed to make myself forget about the neck and shoulder pain because my HEAD WAS THROBBING. Yayyy.

My friend Marianna over at Snappy Surprise had an awesome weekend, too. You should go read about it.

And my friends over at Cheesy Bloggers (including Marianna) totally gave me the hook-up (is that phrase still used? am I even using it right?) on their Open Letter theme. Thank you, Cheesy gals! They are AWE-SOME (said all sing-songy)! You should definitely follow them.

And now it's time to watch my soap opera get back to studying. I need cookies. Who wants to bake for me?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Do you like piña coladas...?

Lately I haven't been sleeping so well. With the fibro I really should stick to a regular sleep schedule, which for me would mean asleep by 11 or 12 and up around 8 or 9am. Having no pressing morning routines allows me to be lazy sleep longer. But lately, even though I've taken my Rx and may be bonkers with fatigue I just can't fall asleep. My mind is either racing or I'm in too much pain and can't get comfortable. I feel like I did 15 years ago when I first started dealing with the fibro. It's completely ridiculous and I would like it to stop. Isn't there some magic wand to be waved or button I can push? You know, like on Facebook, there's a button for goddamn everything.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

National Suicide Prevention Week


This week (9/4-9/10) is National Suicide Prevention Week. The yellow ribbon with a heart is the ribbon symbolizing suicide survivors, the ones who are left behind after a suicide. I bear this ribbon with sadness and hope that others will find help before it is too late. 


In January of 1998 I lost my fiancee, JR, to suicide. Technically we had been broken up for 6 weeks, but we were together for 5 years, cohabiting for 4, and engaged for 3. I met JR when I was 18, just out of high school. We worked together and he always had a smile and a joke for everyone he met. Although he was 8 years older than me we got along great, both sharing a love of all things geeky. He was a genuinely nice guy, something I found rare in those days. Shortly after becoming friends JR helped me through a very difficult time in my life. He was the first man I trusted after I was raped. He became my protector and my friend, the one who made me smile and gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning when I thought I couldn't go on. I struggled with debilitating depression and panic attacks for years, but he held on and rode the waves with me, letting me know I wasn't alone. What I didn't know was that while he was helping me survive my depression, he was hiding his own.

Monday, September 5, 2011

a bit of needed sparkle

Lately I've been dealing with a shitload of stressy stuff, all of which I plan to write about later... suffice it to say the past few weeks have been grueling. So, this morning I started off my morning determined to be in a better mood. Listening to this definitely helped.



My amazing boyfriend introduced me to this little ditty, as he is a Civ geek. I find the song joyful and uplifting. Listening to it is like getting a hug from a unicorn... which is a pretty awesome thought. However, imagine my surprise when I looked up the song and found that it is actually a Swahili version of the Christian mantra The Lord's Prayer. I haven't been Christian in many years, but the Lord's prayer was always my favorite as a child. Now, as a Pagan, I can appreciate the simplistic beauty of the prayer without having to subscribe to the dogma or doctrine. And in this musical form it is perfectly gorgeous. So, thank you, Christopher Tin and the Soweto Gospel Choir, for giving me a bit of bliss during this stressful time.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

If you are a regular reader here you may have noticed that a recent entry (my story of the attack of the carpets) is now missing. I decided to remove it because of legal reasons that I cannot get into. Sorry, folks. Just playing it safe here.

If you're in the U.S. I hope you have a great holiday weekend - stay safe & have fun! Of course, the same goes for those who are not in the U.S., just not a holiday... probably. Oh hell, have a great weekend, everyone!