Friday, July 8, 2011

Someone stole my elephants...

My boyfriend likes to entertain me with games he's invented, like "What can we do with the stuffed animals today?" The best one to date was when the stuffies "decided" to turn my old studio apartment into a high ropes course. Over the course of several days they "moved" inch by inch from the kitchen to the living room (not a very big space, really), dangling on the rope which was fastened to the ceiling in strategic places. It was brilliant.

At this point you may be asking yourself what's wrong with this picture. Yes, I'm a grown woman who enjoys stuffed animals.

Ew. Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter, pigs. (And yes, there's a stuffed pig, too.)

I enjoy the innocent fun that stuffed animals represent. I didn't get to fully enjoy my childhood. Although I have some happy memories they are mostly overshadowed by the fear & crap I had to endure in silence. Fantasy was my escape. Reading, playing with dolls or stuffed animals, these were solace. Not people. People sucked. They were the big scary monsters in the closet. I did have some friends but I played alone.  A LOT. But it was ok because I knew my toys wouldn't hurt me. I may be all grown up now but I need to maintain some of that childhood fun because I didn't get enough of it as a kid. It helps me cope. And I think it makes me a better person, creative outlet and all. And really, I just need the laughter. Plain and simple. Whatever.

Anyway, back to the stuffies.

Every stuffie has a story. Like the big teddy bear my dad gave me when I was 13 and I didn't get to see him often because my parents were divorced. Or the elephant (Buddy) holding a valentine heart that Oaky surprised me with one time - the same day he found & snuck in the painting of the elephants in a bath tub and hung it in my bathroom. He's good.

So, over the past 24 hours I have found 5 of my 10+ stuffed animals lurking in places where they normally wouldn't be. Floppy McFlopperson, the white bunny who hails from Scotland, was found in the toilet paper cabinet. Little Bear was hiding in my underwear drawer (Ok, he might need counseling). Gertie the pygmy elephant was in the etagere cabinet with my perfumes, lotions, and cosmetics. She now smells like a French whore-house. Damn Bunny was in the hamper with the laundry. And Lamb Chop, well.... let's just say we're glad that we got a tip on the where-abouts of Lamb Chop before he became a truly frozen lamb chop while I am away all weekend (he now smells slightly of asparagus and garlic). Big Bear is where ze always is (Big Bear, or alternately Teddy, is gender neutral), on a chair in my bedroom. Horton is in the car, as usual, and Percival J. Pig is away visiting Illuminati Bear. This leaves Terry the turtle (the turtle on my head in the above photo) and the 2 bigger elephants, Buddy and Effie. I wonder where they will turn up....

I'm not crazy... I'm just practicing for when I finally have a kid. Yeaaaaah. *shuffles away*

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