Sunday, July 31, 2011

And a good time was had by all...

So far this weekend has been full of awesome. Last night The Ninja & I went out to dinner, which is amazing in itself because my baby bro and I get together maybe once a year outside of family get-togethers. Twice as amazing because it was his idea to get together. And thrice as amazing because I haven't felt this close to him since we were kids. Also, he picked up the check for dinner. And beer. I am a lightweight so I could have imagined the whole thing in a drunken haze, but what I think happened was some actual sibling-bonding quality time, the kind I've always dreamt would happen but never felt I was cool enough for in my siblings' eyes. (Hey, spell-check, dreamt is a word, and it's spelled correctly. Ask Merriam-Webster.)

Friday, July 29, 2011

panic attack or over-medicated?

Was having anxiety even after nighttime meds, so took an Ativan.... started to panic that I had taken too much medication... started feeling dizzy, short of breath, heart palpitations...
I just want to feel relaxed enough to be able to go to sleep. Without feeling like I'm slipping into a coma, that is. I start to relax and then I feel like I'm struggling to breathe and swallow and then we're back to square one.
Awesome... so am I still having a panic attack or did I really take too much medication? How am I supposed to tell the difference? There should be a manual for this stuff. Oh, right. The PDR... I should get one of those... Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
Hope you all are sleeping well.....

p.s. Ironic that I look so well-rested and refreshed in my little morning get-up. *sigh*
p.p.s Just managed to scarf down an english muffin and some yumberry pomegranate lifewater, so I think I'll forgo calling 911. Unless I somehow pass out here at the desk and split my head open on the keyboard. Which probably didn't happen if you're reading this. Also, I am hyper aware of my spelling and grammatical errors as I type this so I am probably not over-medicated. I love you, little red squiggly line. *hugs spellcheck*
p.p.p.s. I'm done now. For realz. Thank you and goodnight.

*Edit: The stick figure is banging its head in perfect time to "I've Got You Babe". Fascinating.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Someone stole my elephants...

My boyfriend likes to entertain me with games he's invented, like "What can we do with the stuffed animals today?" The best one to date was when the stuffies "decided" to turn my old studio apartment into a high ropes course. Over the course of several days they "moved" inch by inch from the kitchen to the living room (not a very big space, really), dangling on the rope which was fastened to the ceiling in strategic places. It was brilliant.

At this point you may be asking yourself what's wrong with this picture. Yes, I'm a grown woman who enjoys stuffed animals.

Ew. Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter, pigs. (And yes, there's a stuffed pig, too.)

I enjoy the innocent fun that stuffed animals represent. I didn't get to fully enjoy my childhood. Although I have some happy memories they are mostly overshadowed by the fear & crap I had to endure in silence. Fantasy was my escape. Reading, playing with dolls or stuffed animals, these were solace. Not people. People sucked. They were the big scary monsters in the closet. I did have some friends but I played alone.  A LOT. But it was ok because I knew my toys wouldn't hurt me. I may be all grown up now but I need to maintain some of that childhood fun because I didn't get enough of it as a kid. It helps me cope. And I think it makes me a better person, creative outlet and all. And really, I just need the laughter. Plain and simple. Whatever.

Anyway, back to the stuffies.

Every stuffie has a story. Like the big teddy bear my dad gave me when I was 13 and I didn't get to see him often because my parents were divorced. Or the elephant (Buddy) holding a valentine heart that Oaky surprised me with one time - the same day he found & snuck in the painting of the elephants in a bath tub and hung it in my bathroom. He's good.

So, over the past 24 hours I have found 5 of my 10+ stuffed animals lurking in places where they normally wouldn't be. Floppy McFlopperson, the white bunny who hails from Scotland, was found in the toilet paper cabinet. Little Bear was hiding in my underwear drawer (Ok, he might need counseling). Gertie the pygmy elephant was in the etagere cabinet with my perfumes, lotions, and cosmetics. She now smells like a French whore-house. Damn Bunny was in the hamper with the laundry. And Lamb Chop, well.... let's just say we're glad that we got a tip on the where-abouts of Lamb Chop before he became a truly frozen lamb chop while I am away all weekend (he now smells slightly of asparagus and garlic). Big Bear is where ze always is (Big Bear, or alternately Teddy, is gender neutral), on a chair in my bedroom. Horton is in the car, as usual, and Percival J. Pig is away visiting Illuminati Bear. This leaves Terry the turtle (the turtle on my head in the above photo) and the 2 bigger elephants, Buddy and Effie. I wonder where they will turn up....

I'm not crazy... I'm just practicing for when I finally have a kid. Yeaaaaah. *shuffles away*

Saturday, July 2, 2011

What do you mean I'm not Capt. Picard?

While in the shower earlier today I noticed I was almost out of toothpaste. I promptly started to add it to the grocery list:

"Computer, grocery list. Add toothpaste." which point I realized I did not live on the Enterprise. *sigh*