Thursday, June 16, 2011
So, I have discovered the new Lifetime show "Love Handles: Couples In Crisis". It deals with couples who are overweight and the causes and effects of the weight & food issues on their relationships. There are only 2 episodes out so far but it's really speaking to me. I realized tonight, while watching the show, that not only are Oaky and I overweight (morbidly obese, actually), but all of the people I surround myself with are overweight. Let's just put it out there...
I AM FAT.
Oaky is fat. My parents are obese (by medical standards), one brother struggles with his weight. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins are all overweight. My best friends are all overweight. Two of them have even had gastric bypass surgery, but are still battling the food/weight issues and struggling to get to a healthy weight. The only person in my circle who is healthy and is not and never has been overweight is my youngest brother (The Ninja). I guess it's like an alcoholic only hanging out with other drinkers. I have surrounded myself with foodies, fatties, binge eaters...
I am 37 years old. Last year I was diagnosed with diabetes. Over the past few months I have been experiencing secondary complications due to the diabetes - infections, intestinal trouble, pain and swelling, increased allergies. As I write this my lip is swelling up from gods know what. I've had gastrointestinal problems so bad that I thought about calling 911 while on vacation in the middle of Maine. So, multiple infections, possible gastroparesis, pain, swelling - oh yeah, let's not forget the heart flutters and being winded with activity as simple as walking up a flight of stairs. Thankfully I quit smoking 7 months ago, otherwise I might be dead right now.
Things have to change. I am scared. Really scared. I came very close to losing everything 2 weeks ago because of a stupid tornado. I didn't get through that just to kill myself with food.