Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Geraldine and Pammy, sittin' in a tree, T-E-X-T-I-N-G...

Today I was sitting in the waiting room of my therapist's office, where there is hung a large sign that says "Please do not use cell phones in this area". Whenever I see a sign like that, I take it as a reminder to make sure my phone is set on silent or turned off altogether. I am appreciative of these signs, as I am a person who likes to wait in silence, usually reading a book that I have brought along with me (today's selection was book #9 in the Anita Blake series). But not everyone is like me. Apparently some people interpret these signs as an open invitation to start using their phones, which they probably hadn't even touched all day. Today, there were not one, not two, but three people sitting under the sign, using their phones for the entire 15 minutes I was there. One was a 40-something gentleman in business attire, probably checking stock prices or sports scores, or sexting with his mistress, in which case I hope he's not a budding politician because we all know where that ends up. The other two were teenaged girls, sitting next to each other laughing and apparently texting each other, and talking and laughing about what they were texting. I'm sorry, but when did actually conversing with another person go out of style? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for texting each other in a quiet room if it means you won't be talking out loud. But these girls seem to have missed the whole point of that. And here is what I was privvy to this afternoon:

Girl 1: *clickity clickity clickity*
Oh my god! We are SO gonna jump into the Grand Canyon together!

Girl 2: *giggle*
*clickity clickity clickity*

Girl 1: (laughs loudly)
*clickity clickity clickity*

Girl 2: I KNOW, right?!
*clickity clickity clickity*
(Laughs loudly)
*clickity clickity clickity*

Girl 1: something something RIDING HORSES something something MAGIC PONIES mumble mumble *giggle* RAINBOWS!!!

Girl 2: *giggle* GLITTER!!! mumble mumble mumble

...which all makes me feel like:

Mystery woman from around the corner: (shouting) GERALDINE!!


*both girls laugh loudly batting at each other with their paws - I mean, hands*

At this point I had to remind myself that these beings were, in fact, human, and not some strange species of wild animal, calling out their warning cries before attacking innocent prey (me and/or mystery woman around the corner).

Mystery woman: (looks at Girl 1 and points back around the corner) Your turn.

Girl 1: NO! *laughs loudly, ribbing Girl 2, who looks suddenly like a deer caught in headlights* Ok, FINE! But be NICE!! We're jumping into the Grand Canyon together, ya know. *giggle*

Mystery woman (who I've now figured out is Girl 1's Mom): What? *sigh* Whatever, just go.
*sits down next to Girl 2* So, Pammy, get back up on that horse yet?

I had noticed that Girl 2 had scratches and scrapes all over her arms and legs. Being as it were that we were sitting in a waiting room in a mental health facility, I was quick to judge her as a self-injurer. But maybe I was wrong, maybe she literally fell off a horse. And what was all the talk about jumping into the Grand Canyon? Who are they, Thelma & Louise? Do they even know who Thelma & Louise are? That movie came out like 20 years ago... Shit, I'm old. Anyway, as it turns out, I will never know the answers to those questions because that was when my name was called, thank gods. I didn't even have to move my bookmark, I had been trying to read the same 2 paragraphs over and over again... all I knew was that the characters were in a dangerous situation - armed strangers were following them up the driveway. Did they make it to the house? Were they all gunned down in the middle of the driveway and bleeding out onto the gravel? I have no idea. I'm about to find out, though. I hope Pammy and Geraldine and Geraldine's Mom all had a nice evening. I hope that Pammy did actually fall off a horse and is not actively hurting herself. And I hope that someday they will learn all about appropriate volume levels for public spaces.

*shouting to my book in the other room* Don't worry, Anita! I'm on my way!!


  1. I LOVE the puking rainbow pic!!

  2. Me too! Wish I could remember where I found it.