Friday, March 18, 2011

You can't get taller.

At the ripe old age of 37 I have finally accepted this fact. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I am just shy of 5'2'' and the modern world is not built for people under 5'7''. That means I have at least 5 inches to conquer before I can move on with most tasks. I use a step-stool in my own kitchen to get things out of the cupboard on a daily basis. Hell, there are even cabinets that I don't use because even with the step-stool I still can't reach them.
My love is 6'4'', more than a foot taller than me. He forgets on a regular basis that I am short. When I am in his kitchen, if I want a paper plate or a juice glass I have to ask him to get it for me. Brings me back to childhood - “can I have a cup, please?” - yeah, not so sexy. He does make me feel small and dainty, though, so that's a plus. 
But seriously, most of the time I feel like a frakking smurf. The up-side to this is that I am a lot closer to the floor than the rest of you. Do you need someone to paint your baseboards? I'm your gal! Drop a pill and can't find it? I'm on it. And if I spontaneously catch on fire, forget about it, I only have to drop a few inches before I roll away to safety. Of course, I will also probably catch on fire before the rest of you because my legs are shorter and I can't run as fast - so you know what? Fuck you all, leaving me to burn while you run away to get ice cream. You can suck it.

1 comment:

  1. I don't forget that your short, I'm just mean.

    This post is funny though huh?