Thursday, March 24, 2011
My thoughts for the day...
I don't like bleeding so much that I become anemic.
I don't like the amount of pain my lady parts are in.
I don't like having to defend myself when it comes to having a disability/being on public assistance.
I don't like having to deal with money because it makes me very anxious.
I don't like the fact that money makes me so anxious.
I don't like the fact that I feel inferior to people who have "real jobs" and receive a "real paycheck".
I don't like the voices in my head telling me I am worthless.
I don't like the fact that I have to battle those voices every damn day.
I DO like that I have a good support network to help me along.
I DO like that my cats never judge me or shun me (except when they are being snots the way cats do).
I DO like that the sun is shining today.
I DO like having medication to control my pain AND anxiety. (I will not admit to saying this later on but Gods bless Big Pharma!)
I DO think I am quite stellar at times... and have to remind myself of that a LOT.
I love watching my cats nap in the sunshine.
I love that my boyfriend laughs at my dorky jokes.
It's ok that I'm not getting all dolled up today because I am in pain.
I don't want to let other people's judgements and feelings dictate how I feel.
I am me and I'm ok.
That sounded really corny. Fuck it. I stick by it. I AM ok.
Pancakes sound really good right now but I'm gonna be good and not eat carbs. Instead I'll dream about them. And eat yogurt.