Saturday, March 19, 2011
**NSFW** You may not want to read this at all: gynecolgical & mental health
And of course the experience wouldn't be complete without the anxiety getting triggered. This kind of pain is horrendous for any woman, but especially for those with sexual trauma histories... let's just say I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. The pain goes away and I am ecstatic and I can move - then it comes back and I turn into a basketcase because it physically reminds me of traumatic incidences in my past.Yay PTSD. So it's not just physical pain I am fighting here (which believe me is MORE than enough, TYVM), but emotional pain of a scab that keeps getting picked at. It's really fucking with my tolerance and sanity right now.
I feel like a leper. No one talks about these things and so I feel like I'm supposed to suffer in silence. Well, fuck that. I've been there & done that and no good comes of it. Tonight I pull out the megaphone and proclaim to all my friends and family - I HAVE A BROKEN VAGINA, and if you can't understand that I can't make it to every function, well than you can go suck eggs because with this level of pain I have a low threshold for dealing with idiots.